As a young child I had asthma. I believe with that came the first real experience of fear for me – fear of not being able to breathe. But medicine was available to help control it for the most part and it was probably my parents who experienced the most angst around it. Then in the third grade fear really took hold. Between second and third grade my family moved to another state. In the school I moved from cursive writing was taught in the third grade. In the new school it was taught in the second grade. So there I was on the first day of school the only child in the class who did not know how to do it. The teacher’s way of handling it left me feeling humiliated and the fear of not being enough – of not being good enough gained a solid hold that guided my life for many years.
For many years I judged that teacher wondering how someone in that position could be so cruel and make a child feel lost and stupid through no fault of her own. Now I realize that the teacher was probably also dealing with fear that arose from not knowing what to do and feeling inadequate. So often when fear arises irritation and anger are what we let loose. When I began to see that teacher from a different perspective – the perspective of the heart – compassion flowed for her and the child that sat in that classroom.
It took years to see that time from a different perspective. My life in school was tense and full of fear around disappointing my parents and myself. I excelled but was a nervous wreck about it most of the time. My love of literature was solace for me and that love of reading helped me weather many rough spots in life while it supported my introversion.
Early on the gift of a love of reading was a strength for my journey. As you will see it was both a positive and negative support for me. Are there things in your life that you see shaped part of your journey? Are they positive or negative or both?
I am privileged to be on the Earth at this time. This is a time of light and dark, chaos and order all leading to the next evolutionary leap of humanity. At 65 years of age my life experiences have brought me to a place of knowing that I AM –a being that is both human and spirit or divine. For me there have been many highs and lows but I have always known I am loved. It is the love of family and friends that helps me recognize the face of God. My focus now is on the peace and joy at the core of my being which includes recognizing the Grace that flows through my life. I have also been shown that sharing my wisdom is one reason I am here.
From one viewpoint one might say these days are unsettling and sad as we face economic difficulties, war and the earth itself disrupting and erupting as it adjusts to the new energy frequencies. So I know it is important that we come together to help each other in our journey home – in our release of fear that holds so many of us spellbound preventing the recognition of who we truly are- Spirit, God (whatever word you choose) in human form. It is important that we shift to the viewpoint of Love.
In this blog I intend to share parts of my journey and some lessons I have learned in the hope of giving you ideas and practices that may help in your journey. Comments are welcome. Please share practices that help you so we all will be teachers and students.
The unconditional love of my mother, father, brother and daughter supports me and shows me the beauty of the face of God. I am so grateful for the gifts they bring to my life. I want to thank my special friends Carol Fitzpatrick and Mark Torgeson as without their encouragement, love and computer lessons I would not have taken the risk. I thank my dear friend Diadra Price for showing me I AM. And I am grateful for the Grace of God that is always with me even when I am not paying attention.
Ponder the following quote as we set off on this adventure. It is from the “Essence Speaks” section of the book Grace Awakening Essence by my dear friend and teacher Diadra Price.
As to the mirror
Bring eye, the I in you each day.
Stand before the mirror’s gaze,
And see Me there with single eye
Looking back at Myself.
Question not the why,
The where, the when.
Let not the word ‘but’ or ‘if’ gather
In the morning’s light,
Stand before the mirror
And smile at Me,
And I will smile back at Thee.”