My heart is now open wide and I know I am here to serve. Because I am human I am aware I must be vigilant and recognize when ego’s fear is sending me down a path I no longer need or want to travel. However, I would not trade the human experience for anything: embracing the beauty of this earth, experiencing the love of family and friends, feeling the warmth of a hug, knowing laughter and tears. Opening to my higher spiritual self has elevated the human experience beyond belief.
I still have moments of doubt, moments of wanting what I want right now. There are moments when I am overcome by sadness about what humanity does to the earth and about the meanness, hatred and lying that goes on all around the world. Blessedly those times of wanting what I want are not as frequent nor do they last for years as in the past. For the most part when sadness drops in I am able to go into the stillness and let it move through. I also recognize that each teacher that comes into my life comes at exactly the right time. Grace flows through it all. When I am ready the teacher shows up and something within me responds and moves forward. Now that does not mean I have not ignored the gift at times saying no that is not for me I have other things to do. But always when the seed is planted I eventually pick up a book, listen to a CD or take a class and am propelled to the next phase on my path. Also, when those teachers who are family, friends or irritants show up in some relationship I begin to see the truth that they all bring lessons in my life that add to my sometimes gentle sometimes not so gentle exploration of myself.
Vigilance is important but so is having at least one person who will help you see clearly. Someone who lovingly assists you to keep you heart in focus. My mentor has challenged me to explore my heart, to listen and to act-to take the next step. She gently reminds me when the two year old in me takes over. And there are times when I am actually amused at that lovable two year old. When I remember choice from my heart I am able to focus on the peace and joy that are at my core. The energy of peace that I am shines through.
So the somewhat chronological flow of parts of my journey ends in this blog post for now. From this point on I will deal with topics as I am led to write about them. If there is something you want me to cover please let me know. Let’s get ready to embrace more heart opening.
It is time to add another experience and teacher to this journey. Somewhere in between Mary Morrissey, Diadra and Carol, Jean Houston landed in my life (I think “landed” is a good word to use for JeanJ). I was looking through a catalogue when the book Mystical Dogs jumped out at me. I am an animal lover and the subtitle “Animals as Guides to our Inner Life” confirmed my decision to purchase the book. Little did I know this book was to be so much more for me than a book about the roles dogs play in our life.
It was here in this book about our journey to illumination that I began to believe in imagination. Most of my life I lived believing I really had no imagination or if I had it that it was most uninteresting. However, in this book there is an exercise involving imagining you are in an underground cave that contains levels of your inner world. You are to imagine as your guide, a dog that you know or have previously known. I have not owned a dog for many years but have a friend who over the years has had golden retrievers. There has always been a strong connection between her dogs and me. A dog named Doll became my guide and led me on a wondrous journey. My imagination soared and I have no doubt that the real Doll was present in spirit supporting, encouraging and having fun. I was amazed at how I clearly saw everything and was so involved with the process. On each level – sensory, psychological, mythic and symbolic- I connected. Please read the book if you are interested in the full experience. But one of its greatest gifts to me was a validation that I do have an imagination and with it I can learn so much and have so much fun. What a wonderful part of my humanity. Another gift was reminding me of my connection to the natural world and the oneness of all. In addition reading about the dogs that passed through the life of Jean and her husband was a quiet, uplifting, amusing experience.
About two years later I took an online class with Jean Houston. During that experience I rewrote my life story as a heroic mythic journey. Wow! There was drama (lots of that), tragedy and comedy. There was courage, compassion, love, play. Even what I consider “stupid” mistakes became important chapters in this adventure. But even more remarkable I began to wonder how it would feel if I looked at those around me as also being on a heroic journey. I began to see even those folks who irritate me in a different light remembering that most of us are doing the best we can with what we know at any given time. There is so much gratitude in my heart for being shown my wonderful imagination and the part it plays in my life.
How do you view your imagination? What part does it play in your life? Is it a positive experience for you? Can you see your life as a heroic journey? Where are you now in that journey? Watch the movie “The NeverEnding Story” for a taste of the hero’s mythic journey. Can you see parts of his journey reflected on your own path?
The last few blogs as well as this one and probably more that will follow cover part of my journey that occurred over a two to three year time span that was packed with teachers and insights. As my heart continued to open the Universe filled it up! Shortly after I first met Diadra I met Carol Fitzpatrick. She came to our church one Thursday night to speak as part of a summer series. Carol is a wondrous woman who is clairvoyant, clairaudient and clairsentient. She is a clear reflection of light and love. Her book A Call to Remember is subtitled “Follow Your Heart, Change the World” and that is what she is living. Links to her websites are on this blog.
Carol and her husband Mark Torgeson (an astounding musician and healer) came into my life to show me how to put in practice much of what I learned from Diadra and others in an energetic way. I knew this woman was important the first time I saw her but some time passed before I dived into the learning. To be honest the first time I attended a Living the Miracle session I was totally overwhelmed and thought I had shifted to a parallel universe. Oh, I had no trouble believing Carol was channeling unseen guides as I instinctively knew there is much unseen in our world. However, I could not imagine why I was there. Here were folks practicing connecting the light being each was by looking directly into another’s eyes and seeing the light and love at the core. They know they are here to help humanity and the earth ascend to the next level of existence. My human reaction was Whoa!!! This is just too strange and even with all my heart opening I could not see what I had to offer. Also, I knew if I stayed involved I must relax, lighten up and be willing to release the purity of love that I am. It also meant more connecting. Today these meetings are so natural I find it hard to believe I ever hesitated. I am now so comfortable recognizing the guides and angels here to help us and welcome the connection with others of like mind. Most of all I see the importance of my serving this group.
I attended a workshop series of Carol’s when I was ready to study again entitled Intuition and the Art of Manifestation. It was through that class that I began to see the true meaning of the many events in my life. What I knew in my heart became clear. I am here to teach in many ways and now the time is here for me to do it more formally as in this blog.
I am in awe of how each experience and each teacher prepared me for that recognition. Joy soars! In addition I more fully enjoy being human and all the wonder it brings me. My five senses are alive to the beauty and mystery of a natural world that is brighter and more loving than I ever imagined. The connection often brings tears of gratitude over something as seemingly simple as beautiful cloud formations.
Do you recognize the gifts you came in the world to share? Do you see life events that helped prepare you to serve? How do you practice your presence? How does your spirituality inform your humanity?
The Universe sent another teacher during this same time period. It was as though creation was saying “Get with it! I am sending you all the help you need”. And so a modern mystic walked into my life and my journey home took on warp speed. Diadra Price is a gloriously feminine light filled with love. I cannot even remember the words of her message in church the first time I heard her but something lit a spark in me that smoldered for a while. Then I read her book Grace Awakening Essence and realized there was no turning back. God clearly was saying to me there is no more time for dawdling. The message “You are being provided with what you need, now move on it!” was quite loud.
Almost a year after finishing 4T, I participated in a retreat with Diadra. It was a small group of about twelve people including the three teachers. Through various types of sessions I began to see clearly who I am and to directly experience an open heart. The voice of God was heard through each person. Some important things happened for me. I felt protected enough to truly feel and connect with each participant. Two of the teachers used the word “precious” in speaking about me which seemed to open my heart wider. And there I came to see that I AM THE WILL OF GOD. What a glorious recognition! God willed me into being and sent me here for a reason (it would be later that I began to understand that reason). There is no better statement of God’s love for me.
The retreat also continued support for my dream of living at the ocean as well as reminding me that I am enough. During this experience not only was I supported in every way but for the first time I began to see the beauty in myself. One morning after returning home I looked in the mirror and saw the face of God and love poured out for this human looking back at me.
This experience did not end all the drama, confusion and dissatisfaction in my human life, but I clearly spiraled up in consciousness. Truly recognizing my source and accepting that help is always with me caused a shift that truly meant there was no way I could go back to the old way and survive. Since then when I hit rough spots help arrives and I am not allowed to wallow long in the dramaJ Gratitude pours forth to my higher self, angels and the Universe for the constant love provided to humanity, the earth and me.
What is your reaction to being called “precious”? Do you believe you are on earth at this time for a reason? If you do what does that mean for you? If you have doubts what are they? What are some ways the Universe supports you? Is daily gratitude a practice for you?
At almost the same time I finished the 4T class Mary Manin Morrissey came to my church to preach and lead a workshop. As a result of that I began her Life Mastery Course. It was several months long with much exploring. Many things I learned in Stretton Smith’s class were reinforced such as there is a time for silence and a time for doing (the “doing” can really hang you up if you are afraid of failing). But the greatest gift was clarifying and supporting a dream I had for years but belittled as unrealistic and selfish. Recognition dawned that dreams and desires often come from the heart and are worthy. I also realized I must be willing to take action to fulfill my dream and that initially that action may be seem small but may unleash huge energy.
Toward the end of the class I became tired and somewhat bored. I realized that I spent about six months studying, concentrating on homework and growing and I was tired. Recognizing that was important and helped me understand that for me there is a time for studying and then I must have a break to practice and rest. Part of the overdoing may be that human thirst we have to figure it all out now and have every dream fulfilled now!
Shortly after the Life Mastery class one of the “practice” opportunities given to me came through church. I will set the stage by saying I rarely entertain in my home and am not comfortable as a hostess. However, for some reason the minister decided I needed to talk with the person in charge of the Fellowship time after the Sunday morning services, and she brought us together. All of a sudden I was purchasing food, getting and working with volunteers and setting everything up on Sundays. I was a nervous wreck and then one day I realized what a joy it was and how much I enjoyed mingling with folks during the fellowship time. The Universe must have been laughing again.J The encouragement and appreciation of the person who worked with me led me to begin to appreciate myself and to see again how I thrived in connecting with others.
Do you accept your dreams as worthy? What action have you taken to move toward your dreams? What opportunities have you had to stretch beyond your comfort zone? Reflect on the impact in your life.