In the early stages of this blog I wrote about friendship. Experiences in my early life led me to shy away from friendship and later in my life the friendship of others greatly impacted my life and growth. I believe it took quite a while before I began to learn what it meant to be a friend to others. When fear has such control over your life giving is lost and taking becomes the focus as you seek to survive. As I look back now I am amazed that friends stuck by me and put up with my behavior.
I can remember one particular time when I turned totally inward. Work got done as well as every day matters, but I shut out friends as I halted communication. How long that lasted is not in my memory but when I came out of it I knew that I hurt one friend deeply. She is one friend who has always stood by me and was so important in my daughter’s growing up. It was so embarrassing but even more so heartbreaking as I tried to figure out how to reconnect and rebuild the friendship. However, she taught me how by accepting my tearful apology with a warm hug.
This was a turning point for me in understanding and embracing the giving side of friendship. And somewhere along the way my heart opened and giving in a relationship became natural. Lo and behold how wonderful it feels to give the light and love that you are to a friend. I see now that it even changes the taking in a friendship. For it is with joy and humility that I accept what others have to share with me now. That is not to say that human aggravations do not pop up but when I open to my higher self I do not take things personally but recognize it is all part of being human.
There is another part of friendship that has been difficult for me. There are times when friendships change due to people changing and growing apart in some areas. I find it very sad to see that happen in relationships that have been so meaningful but understand that everything changes and focusing on the positive side of the relationship is what matters. The friendship becomes different and does not have to end although there are times when things come to an end.. I believe some relationships appear when they are needed and disappear when that is no longer the case.
What are your thoughts on friendship? Do you see yourself as a good friend? If not is there a way you may be able to look at friendship differently? Have you had to deal with a changing friendship? How did it impact you?