Most of us are convinced over time by our minds and sense of survival that our lives are a product of forces seen and unseen and that what plays out is not in our control. We walk through life blaming parents, families, teachers, government, fate, karma (and often this is so that we do not have to face the feeling of not being good enough) for our unhappiness. There are times we forget our fears and allow ourselves (our true spirit) to be involved in life – learning, being creative, playing, working. But often some bump in the road leads us to focus again on the problems others cause in our lives. Anger or sadness spills over into our relationships as we try to figure out why our dreams do not become reality.
Not too long ago in a time of silence I had a vision. I was inside a lighthouse (an important symbol for me) and my body began to expand until I became the lighthouse and the beacon of light above my head began to rotate. Then I was no longer the lighthouse but walking away from it. These words clearly came into my consciousness: “You set it in motion”. Now there are several layers of meaning in this but it stopped me up short as I recognized I was being reminded that I am the creator of my life. I was also reminded that I am Light and responsible for what I do with the light. At that particular time, even with all I knew, I was in a funk about something and had slipped into that “no control” thinking. Anger, sadness, depression all played for space in my mind. But I knew clearly that truth of the message my higher self and Creation were sending me.
It took several days of embracing that, sitting in silence and allowing my higher self to take over. The ego tried hard to convince me that yet again I was being discounted. My mind filled with thoughts that there was no hope for the situation to change and the Universe was just not doing what it needed to do. (In my life I have had some LOUD conversations with the Universe regarding its lack of cooperation). My mind just nattered on and on. Peace returned as I got quiet and allowed the negative feelings to just flow through. I began to see the situation I was so upset about in a different way. It was not about me at all and had no power to make me unhappy. The situation did not change but I was able to see it differently and move on.
This experience brought several lessons or reminders of what I already know. One is that I can still be quite a drama queen but love this human that I am. Like or not I set in motion what I feel and what happens in my life. I am responsible. And another is to just STOP when my mind gets going. This is a favorite word of Gangaji and sounds so simple but takes practice. Most important for me is that images and visions will arise and when they do I must pay attention for they are gifts.
Are you blaming anyone including yourself for problems in your life? Are you willing to take responsibility for your life? What images or visions hold meaning for you? What do they tell you about yourself and your life?