Recently I was bemoaning the fact that I could not think of anything to write about for this blog. My friend and soul coach suggested I write about what is happening to me in the current transition period in my life. My initial reaction as is often the case was what is there to write about and since I am so tired of everything in my life how can I help anyone by talking about what I am going through.
Then it happened. Another one of those quiet realizations landed in for me. I have come to see that stages of soul transition sneak up on me. I was sitting in the quiet and all of a sudden I truly felt “I AM FREE!” After almost falling off my chair in astonishment this thought and feeling grew to an awareness of certainty. There are no more chains of past hurts, mistakes, regrets holding me back or keeping me from moving. There are no thorny future briar patches full of pain and hurt that I must navigate. There is only now and I am free to choose how to live in it. Free to choose peace and joy that Love supports at my core to guide me through what I may perceive to be the good and the bad in life.
Why is that important right now? Because it came days after I was notified of the beginning of another transition in my human life. With no input from me and with probably many ulterior motives that have nothing to do with me, my position at work is being moved out of the division it has been in for almost five years to another division. No explanation of the planning involved in this decision, no real description of what I will be doing was given although I can speculate all day long. I disagree with this action and am especially saddened that I was not consulted in detail about this beforehand. However, it continues to support my belief that big mistakes are made when the folks that do the work are not consulted and listened to before decisions regarding organization are made. My initial reaction also included irritation at the way an entire unit is being dismantled and the notification process was a group meeting to announce it. After that meeting my thought was that this is giving me the push to leave and figure out what I really want to do with my life.
But now I recognize I AM FREE! I am not responsible for anyone else’s behavior, decisions or energy. Before this was a thought, an idea I accepted as truth. Now I know it at my core. I can choose to stay or go. And maybe some of the decisions actually will bring good – fancy that.J Although the human part of me wants to walk out the door and thumb my nose at it all, I know in my heart this is a time to watch and wait. So I will ask questions and listen to what is said by the managers in this new division and those in the old. A truly wonderful opportunity has been given to me to listen to my heart as there is nothing to fear. There is little doubt that I will experience exasperation and fear as well as learning and expansion. But now I know that none of the negative emotions are chains locking me into old patterns. They are feelings to be honored and allowed to move through. Who knows if ultimately I will stay for awhile or go, but I am free to choose from the depths of me not just react from my ego. What a gift as I continue my upward and outward expansion of light.
Do you see yourself as free? If not what are your chains, your impediments to freedom? Do you see yourself as free in one aspect of your life and not free in another? How did you come to be free in that area? Can it guide you to real freedom? Are you willing to ask someone to help you get there?